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Fixing a Relationship After Infidelity

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If you cheated on your partner and both of you have decided to continue the relationship, it is genuinely hard work to get back to a place of confidence and trust in your partnership. Your partner may be wary of your actions, and you might find communication more difficult than before. However, there is hope for mending your relationship. Below you’ll find a few helpful tips for repairing your relationship after cheating occurs.

Work On Regaining Trust

Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Without trust, the other significant parts of your relationship will experience negative effects. To begin reestablishing trust, you should be entirely honest about your cheating and your feelings. Though it can be painful, your partner will appreciate this honesty in the end and it will prevent future conflict that can occur from any omitted details.

You should not only be honest about the past, but the present and future as well. This means effectively communicating things like your plans for the day, your present feelings, and any of your future intentions for the relationship. Proactive communication is key – don’t just wait for your partner to ask you about any of the above items. Willingly offer this information, as it will signify your commitment to reviving the relationship.

Spend Time Nurturing Your Relationship

Nurturing your relationship requires you to spend intentional time with your partner. This includes planning date nights, working on activities together, or simply unwinding from the day with your partner through conversation uninterrupted by phones, television, or other duties. Just like tending to a garden, growth can only be achieved with proper attention. Perform acts of genuine kindness to show your appreciation for your partner, like setting up a weekend brunch date, writing them a poem or letter, or doing something to make their day easier, like taking their car to the car wash. Simple actions often speak the loudest, so don’t feel like you have to lob a slew of grand gestures at your partner. Do what feels right and loving.

Understand Your Partner’s Anger or Sadness

It can be a knee-jerk reaction to find ways to gloss over what happened and immediately try to move on from the situation. In reality, it likely isn’t possible for your partner to begin the healing process right off the bat. They’ll likely be sad or angry, and it is your duty to understand this and allow them to work through these emotions. Give them time and space to decide how they’d like to move forward. Don’t try to correct their emotions and behavior either, as this can seem demeaning and counterproductive. 

Seek Couples Counseling

Couples counseling is one of the most effective ways to rediscover what works in your relationship and to implement new means of strengthening your bond. With couples counseling, you have an objective third party to guide you through communication with your party, helping you build healthy habits while developing strategies for overcoming fidelity, healing from trauma, and renewing your love for one another.

Connect With Cristeta Rillera to Begin Your Couples Counseling Journey

Cristeta Rillera welcomes you to begin couples counseling by visiting her office in Woodland, CA or by scheduling a telehealth appointment. If you and your partner are dealing with the aftermath of infidelity or looking for general relationship guidance, Cristeta is here to assist you. Reach out by calling (530) 302-6097 or by filling out our contact form.

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Cristeta Rillera, LMFT


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